A couple of years ago I played a trick on my two riding buddies, Mark and Andy. I came back from Bordeaux and sent them a picture of a VFR1200 I told them I’d bought to replace my BMW K1300GT. Not an entirely implausible action, given I’d often talked of what I’d replace it with. I kept the deception going for a couple of days before cracking and admitting it was a hoax. Since then they’ve tried the odd stunt to catch me out, but these have been easily rumbled by me asking to see their new bikes registration document or a picture of the bike in their garage, and of course these don’t materialise.
Mark tried to kid me he was buying a Panigale when in fact all he’d bought was a model, then tried again saying he’d bought a Harley, showing me a picture of one in his garage, which later turned out to be a bike he was looking after for someone else.
This year the stakes were upped. Mark and I have the same R1 track bikes, bought within a few weeks of each other, and we frequently compare notes as to what gearing to use, which parts to buy, how to fix something on the bike, and which parts we want to buy. We’ve both crashed them and done some damage, although Mark did a better job than me and broke his collarbone, so with our first trackday of 2016 booked, and Marks first since his crash in late 2014, we were comparing notes again, with major topics being gearing, quickshifters and quick action throttles. Neither of us had yet fitted or bought the parts but they were on the cards. I thought this time I’d get the jump on Mark as I got a quickshifter, fitted it and didn’t tell him, thinking it would be one up to me when we got to Catalunya, and that he’d be miffed I’d bought something he hadn’t got, which just might give me an advantage, or so I thought!
SUB PLOT 1 – Andy had been asking me for ages which bike I’d favour or recommend for a new track bike? I like the ZX-10R, but know Andy has had a hankering to own an RSV4 since he rode one a few years ago, but he didn’t follow it through and buy one, instead going for the more clinical and track biased BMW S1000RR. Whilst the RR is a great bike it’s never really stirred his soul, and I could tell he was really wanting someone to tell him to buy the Aprilia. Despite my extolling the Kwaks virtues he wasn’t having any of it, but it was clear that he wanted a change, so what would he get?
One day he asked me if either Mark or I would be interested in buying his RR. I don’t have the money and am more than happy with my R1, and as Mark had told me hundreds of times how he liked riding an old school bike with no electronics, I told him I thought it unlikely he’d be interested either, and thought no more of it, as with Catalunya being only two weeks away, he’d surely wait until after then before doing anything?.
SUB PLOT 2- Next day Mark asked me what I thought of Andys bike? I opined it was a good bike, well cared for, but in my view had had a hard life on track requiring a small gearbox repair, had a lot of intelligent extras on it, but was an early model and that if I were to buy I’d steer towards a 2012 model, but that it would be a good buy for someone. After this relatively brief discussion we switched back to the forthcoming Catalunya trip and gearing, stomp grips, and R1 stuff. Hardly conversations you’d spend so long on if you were thinking of buying a new bike?
A couple of days passed and then suddenly Mark sent me a message saying
“I’ve bought an HP4”.
Here we go again I thought, another stupid story, he must be bored and got nothing to do so I replied,
“Yeah, and I’m the Pope and flying to the moon this afternoon”
“ No really” he said.
“ OK, copy of the carte grise and pics of bike in the garage then please”
“ Haven’t got it yet”.
“ So where did you buy it and how much”.
“ Grand Prix Motos and 10k” came the answer
“OK, Can I have your Akra pipes then please?”
“They’ve gone with the bike.”
“When did you sell it? “
Now I’m starting to wonder what the hell’s going on. He’s never once mentioned the R1 was even for sale, and has spent forever discussing stuff about it with me, let alone the hundreds he’s just spent rebuilding it, so how come it’s sold so quickly? Who to? Nothing was making sense so I said
“OK course you’ve bought one, I look forward to seeing it at Catalunya” I said, and discounted the story as the latest in a line of wind ups, and when I discussed it with Andy, he poured scorn on the idea as it wouldn’t be possible to buy an HP4 for such a low price! Conversation forgotten, especially given the next day he sent me a picture of himself in his Yamaha fleece with an admission he’d lied, and that he still had the R1. End of?
Next day and a really big shock came when Andy told me he’s sold his RR and asks again what would I recommend he buys? I’d been a bit surprised to find he’d moved so quickly and sold the RR without telling me, especially as he’d said it had gone by word of mouth and not been advertised, but hey, sometimes things fall into place! Ramifications? Well clearly the test ride he’d promised Mark and me at Catalunya wasn’t going to happen, but at least he has an R6 race bike as a back up so he can still ride at Catalunya.
Trying to answer his question I went back to trying to extoll the virtues of the ZX-10R but could tell it wasn’t going to wash, so in the end I suggested he buy with the heart this time and buy the Aprilia. “Don’t worry it’s Italian and will break and cost lots, you’ll have the time of your life riding it”. He complained that the nearest dealer is over two hours away from him, but so what I replied, I’d once flown from Geneva to Nice to buy a Lexus! so it was a very poor excuse not to go. Anyway, after thinking about it some more, he drove across to Bern to have a look.
THEN, a couple of days pass and Mark called and said:
“What’s this about you getting a quickshifter without telling me?”
“Well we all have secrets I replied”.
“‘I’ve got one too comes the response, I’ve bought an RR”
Here we go again I thought, but this time he sends me a picture from his garage of an RR rear end with it’s exhaust sticking out from under a blanket.
“I see Andy has brought his bike round for new tyres to be fitted before Catalunya “ I said
“No, it’s my bike comes the reply, Andy is taking the R6 to Catalunya.”
“So wheres the R1?”
“So three days ago you had an R1, sold it overnight and bought an RR? Hardly a credible story?”
“No really, I had no intention of selling it, but put it up for sale at 12.30 one day and it went the next.”
“Really, and an RR just happened to be available?”
“I hope you like it then” I said. I told him that when I’d ridden Andys RR at Dijon I’d found it to be rock hard, handled very fast, and was nothing like as comfortable as the R1
“It is Andys came the reply”
So having been told Andy had sold his bike to a French guy, and Mark outright denying it was him as he’s English, now it transpires that he’s bought Andys bike after all!
AND, there’s more! Andy has just taken delivery of a brand new RSV4 Factory
So, everythings changed quite dramatically in the course of a week. How will our two days on track go after all these changes and subterfuge?
Read the coming post !